of stiff poles and stubborn mistresses

*For entertainment purposes only. Do not attempt at home.*

In other news, I tried to take down my pole.

For the backstory, a guy friend had came some months back, swung wildly on it, causing my pole to swing out and almost hit my lights. He then apologetically went up to tighten the pole, but gave so much tension the chrome paint imploded (my beautiful pole! *weeps*). I've not managed to take down the pole since, but thought i'd give it a try last night. Famous. Last. Words.

Took me 1.5 frikkin' hours and my best Hokkien (with the occasional plea) just to unscrew the top dome, while perched on a table, constantly tilting the head upwards. I know how Michaelangelo must've felt painting the Sistine Chapel now. Cut my fingers in the process too. AND. to make matters worse. when i finally managed to get the damn thing down, i couldn't take it APART.

What should've been a simple matter of unscrewing the damned bugger turned into another half hour of wrestling and rolling around, trying all angles, hitting the floor, ceiling and table in the process (small hands can't get a good grip). By this stage, my Hokkien was exhausted. Yet he remained stubbornly stiff and even with ludicrous amounts of lubricant, refused to yield.

i'm good, but not that good. frikkin' male.

Gave up after midnight. my floor is now covered with shiny chrome bits and WD-40. my ceiling has marks. my fingers are lacerated, and he is lying in a corner, dome off.

I swear, if a pole could grin, mine'd be wearing a grin all the way to Timbuktu.

Will have to give it another go this weekend.

rawr.